Managing Money After Fleeing Domestic Abuse

Starting again when the money was never yours to control

Economic abuse sits at the heart of many abusive relationships. It might have meant having your wages taken, being stopped from working, having benefits claimed in someone else's name, being put on loans you never saw the money for, or being given a small "allowance" and told to account for every penny. When you leave, the practical questions arrive fast: where does money come from now, and how do you keep it safe?

The most important thing to know is that you do not have to untangle all of this on your own. Every local domestic abuse service in the UK has, or can refer you to, an adviser who deals with exactly these problems — often called an independent domestic violence adviser (IDVA) or an economic abuse specialist. They can sit with you, ring organisations on your behalf, and put a plan together in an order that protects you.

Opening a bank account in your own name

A current account only you can access is usually the first step. If you already have a joint account, ask your bank to remove your name or, where that isn't possible because the other person won't agree, open a brand new sole account and move your money and any incoming payments into it.

• Ask for a basic bank account if you're worried about being turned down because of poor credit, or a poor credit history caused by debts in your name. These come without an overdraft and are easier to open.
• If you don't have proof of address because you've moved into a refuge or are staying with friends, a refuge or support worker can provide a letter confirming your situation. Banks are used to this.
• Many high street banks now offer private rooms and staff trained to help customers affected by domestic abuse. Ask at the counter for a quiet space rather than explaining everything at the till.
• Change your PIN, set up a new email address for banking, and turn on two-factor authentication so nobody else can access the account.

Benefits, emergency money and the gap in between

If you were claiming Universal Credit as a couple, that joint claim has to end when you separate, and you'll need to make a new single claim. There is often a wait of around five weeks before the first payment, so ask about an advance payment on the day you claim — it's repayable from future awards, but it keeps the lights on. Report the change of circumstances as soon as you can, and ask for the claim to be closed if your former partner refuses to cooperate.

Other things worth checking, depending on your circumstances:

• Child Benefit, claimed in your own name and paid into your own account.
• Council Tax Reduction, plus the 25% single person discount once you're the only adult in the property.
• A Discretionary Housing Payment from your council if your rent isn't fully covered.
• A Budgeting Loan or Budgeting Advance, and local welfare assistance or household support funds for immediate essentials.
• Child maintenance, which can be arranged through the statutory service rather than direct contact.

Debts in joint names — and debts that were never really yours

This is the part that frightens people most, and it's where specialist advice matters. Debts held in joint names, such as a joint loan, overdraft or mortgage, usually remain the responsibility of both people even after separation. Leaving doesn't wipe the debt, but it also doesn't mean you have to pay it all yourself — the lender can pursue either of you, and what happens next is often negotiable.

Debts in your ex-partner's name alone are not yours. Debts in your name that they took out by pressure, coercion or fraud are a different category: coerced debt. If that's what happened, you can ask the lender or a credit reference agency to look again. Evidence helps enormously — a police crime reference number, messages, or a letter from your support worker. Advisers can help you write to creditors, request a notice of correction on your credit file, and ask to be disassociated from a former partner so their borrowing stops affecting your record.

Keeping your new address and money private

• Think about who you give your new address to. Tell banks, the council and benefits offices that it must not be shared, and ask about password protection on accounts.
• If you're at risk, you can register to vote anonymously so your name and address don't appear on the electoral roll.
• Use a safety word or a note on your account so branch staff know not to give out information, even to someone claiming to be a relative.
• Keep a simple record of what you've asked for, when, and who you spoke to. It saves repeating your story.

Building a plan you can actually keep to

Don't try to solve everything at once. Priority debts — rent or mortgage, council tax, energy, anything that could lead to losing your home — come first. Credit cards and catalogues can wait. Then work out a monthly budget that leaves something small for you, even if it's a few pounds, because rebuilding confidence with money is part of recovery.

Ask your support worker for a referral to a specialist debt or money adviser who understands domestic abuse. These conversations are free, confidential and unhurried, and the adviser's job is to take the weight off you. You've already done the hardest part by leaving. The rest can be done one step at a time, with someone beside you.